


When You Sleep

by Scumprince



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Larry as always my loves, Louis and Harry - Freeform, M/M, Song Inspired, ergh, what other tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-19 17:35:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2396936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scumprince/pseuds/Scumprince
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I could make you happy<br/>I could make you love me<br/>I could disappear completely<br/>I could be your love song<br/>I could be long gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> The structure for the plot came from Mary Lambert's song 'When You Sleep'

Harry was so terrible at writing letters, but Louis was away and Harry wanted to tell him all about everything cool that had happened since Louis had gone away.   
He reached for his notebook and pen and started to write. It had been an insane few weeks.   
After he had finished the letter, he headed downstairs to make a cup of tea. He let the kettle boil and texted to Liam to see if he wanted to come over for a little bit.  
He was bored and there wasn’t anything else to do and Liam was a pretty good distraction.   
Liam came around half an hour later, five minutes after Harry had set up the Xbox and had finished his tea. 

They sat down to play Call of Duty; Liam pausing the game halfway through, looking at Harry.   
“What are you doing?! We were almost finished!” Harry protested trying to unpause.   
“Are you alright, mate?” Liam asked, looking genuinely concerned.  
Harry looked somewhat confused, but nodded. “I’m fine? Why wouldn’t I be?” He questioned, picking a biscuit off the table he’d laid out earlier.   
“Well, you kno-“  
“Are we going to finish the campaign or what?” Harry asked, turning his full attention back to the tv, ignoring Liam. 

They played in silence, with the occasional shout of anger here and there. Harry was happy that the question had been avoided; he didn’t need to answer it. In truth, he’d been dodging the topic for quite some time. 

***

It was nearing the third week that Louis had been on holiday and Harry kept forgetting to post the letter, he was so forgetful it was insane.   
The one thing he did remember, that he’s always remember was the ring that was currently sitting at the back of his sock drawer, when Louis got back from his holiday, Harry would take him to the park across from the stadium where they had first met; at The Script concert and under the trees, Harry would propose to Louis.   
He couldn’t wait to see the reaction Louis would have. 

He pulled his phone from his pocket and laid down on the lounge, dialing his Mum’s number.   
She answered on the second ring. 

“Harry?” She seemed concerned. Why was everyone so concerned lately?  
“Hey Mum, I have something really, really cool to tell you,” Harry mused into the phone receiver.  
“Oh? What is it?” She asked.  
“Well, when Lou Bear gets back off Holiday, I’m going to ask him to marry me,” He beamed. His grin was so wide. 

Anne was silent for a moment, it was as if the receiver had gone dead.   
“Oh baby boy,” She whispered.   
“What’s wrong?”   
“Oh! Nothing, nothing! I’m so happy for you, sweets!” She congratulated.   
“I’m so excited! You have to promise to keep this between us, okay,” Harry instructed. He really didn’t want anyone but his Mum to know.   
“I, I promise,” She mumbled. She sounded upset. “Harry, I, uhm, I have so much stuff to do today, I’m sorry love. I’ll call you tonight,” She didn’t wait for his response before the line went dead. 

Harry stared at his phone screen for a short while before breathing in deeply. Something was going on and he wanted to know what it was.   
He pushed the thought to the back of his mind and rolled over to sleep.   
He’ll worry about it when he wakes up. 

***

Louis was going to break up with him. That’s what it was.   
Everyone but Harry knew that Lou was going to split up with Harry when he got back from holiday, everyone knew and no one was going to tell him that. 

He was just going to have to squeeze it out of them all.   
Detective Styles was on the case. 

He called Zayn first and then Niall but none of them picked up.   
Maybe his friends were going to break up with him as well. Fucking twats.

The last person he called was Liam and he picked up after the first couple of rings. 

“What’s up H?” he asked, his voice was rough and Harry guessed he was sleeping.  
“So, why don’t I know? Why am I the only one that doesn’t know that Louis is going to break up with?” Harry questioned.   
“Harry, what are you,”  
Harry cut him off, “You know at first I thought the reason he wasn’t returning my calls was because he was on holidays, then I started to get suspicious when you asked if I was alright that Louis was away. Then my fucking Mum got all upset when I told her I was going to propose to Louis. So, he’s obviously going to end it with me when he gets back. He’s going to end it and no one’s fucking told me!” Harry accused.   
He was getting really fucking pissed off. 

“Harry, I’m coming around. This has gone on for too long. Let me get dressed and I’ll be over in five,”

Harry was going to protest but all he heard was the beep of an ended phone call.

***

Liam had come around as promised, within five minutes.   
Harry was waiting patiently by the door, biting his finger nails. He was going to weasel the truth out of someone somehow. 

Liam didn’t knock, he hardly knocked, and he just walked in.   
“Harry,” His tone was stern and Harry noticed something in his hand.

A letter?

“Harry, this has to stop, this charade,” Liam said, moving closer to Harry.   
“What charade?” He argued, “What are you talking about?”  
“The charade where you pretend like he isn’t gone, like you’re pretending that one day he’s going to walk right in that fucking door,”   
Harry was confused, he’d backed himself up against the wall. “I’m not pretending, I know that he’s going to get back off holi-“

Liam cut him off; he’d had just about enough. “He’s not on fucking holiday! You and I both know that!” He yelled. 

Harry averted eye contact; he wasn’t going to do this.   
Liam was shoving the piece of paper he ad into Harry’s palm.   
“No,” Harry whimpered. “I’m not going to do this with you,”   
“Harry,” Liam said softly, “H, he’s gone; he isn’t going to come back,”   
Harry looked at Liam, looked him in the eyes, his bottom lip quivering. “Then why aren’t you sad? Why aren’t you upset?” 

Liam couldn’t hold himself together and he broke. He always crumbled. 

“Harry, I’m fucking devastated,” He said, his voice shifting with his rising emotions. “I’m fucking devastated,” he sniffed. “I’m more upset about the fact that you didn’t go to his funeral,”  
“I couldn’t,”  
“Why!?”  
“If I went, If I went, it would’ve been real and I never wanted it to be real, I saw him a week ago. He was walking down the road and he smiled at me,” His voice broke and tears started to spill. “If I went to his funeral, I would’ve had to have said goodbye and that’s not what I wanted, I wanted him to stay with me,”  
“Sometimes,” Liam quivered, “Sometimes you have to say goodbye to move on, it’s all you have,”  
“I can’t let him go,” Harry’s chest ached, and he couldn’t breathe.   
“No one wanted to, H, no one,” Liam whispered, bringing Harry into a hug.   
They stayed like that for a while, crying on one another’s shoulders.   
***

It was cold and Harry’s sweater did little to keep him warm, but he stood there, staring down at the grey stone; staring silently at the letters across the front. It was so surreal.   
He bent down and placed his letter over the dates, he couldn’t look at them. 

“Goodbye, Lou,” He whispered, quickly wiping away stray tears. 

***

Dear Louis,

I can’t, I don’t want to believe that you aren’t coming home.   
I don’t want to believe that I’m going to sit on the couch waiting patiently for you to walk through the door complaining about the weather or about how banana prices have gone up. 

I have to tell myself to put one foot in front of the other, to keep breathing, to do so many things that should be manual because I can’t function without you. I’m like a broken human because I don’t have the thing that made me work here beside me anymore. 

Do you remember the park across the road from the stadium where we first saw The Script?  
When we walked under the trees and sat there while we waited for our parents. I remember looking at you and I swore, I swore that would be where I would marry you. I swore it. 

After I was told what had happened, I couldn’t understand, I never wanted to.   
A robbery gone wrong, apparently. If only I had been there, I could’ve done something, could’ve helped. I could’ve stopped it. You’d still be here. 

A week or so afterwards, after the memorial and the funeral, I managed to sleep. You were still there and you’ll always be there.   
I married you there, under the trees in the park across from the stadium. I took you by the hand and we said our vows and right before we kissed, you faded away.   
You faded away right before my eyes and I could stop it, I couldn’t make it stop, I couldn’t save you and I lost you all over again.   
I lost you once and then I just kept losing you, so I can’t sleep now because I can’t even keep you safe in my dreams and I’m sorry.  
I’m so, so sorry. 

Louis, you will always, always be in my heart. 

Love,  
Harry.

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SORRY


End file.
